If you’re having a bad day, just remember that the Raptor sounds from Jurassic Park were actually a recording of turtles having sex
story time
so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
When my friends introduce me as their “single friend”
